Written By Saedrus
Jan. 17, 2017, 10:29 a.m.(9/8/1005 AR)
Just when I think I have reached a point where pain could not surprise me, there is some new, boundless surge of ache that strikes. Thereafter I am lost to it all over again. A thick skin can only get you so far when you're armoured in silk.
Written By Lark
Jan. 17, 2017, 10:23 a.m.(9/8/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Fawkuhl
Loss has been on the forefront of my mind as of late. This is the season of loss. Loss of love. Loss of freedoms once taken for granted. Loss of esteem for men and women that otherwise held it.
Loss of a parent -- The Compact lost a parent, recently. She abandoned it, throwing herself from the nest so as to shield it from danger with her own body. Though she has returned, we are forever made more independent from her by that act.
In another time after suffering a blow as the one I was struck with last night, I might not have found the strength of character to let my curtains be drawn open or to rise from my bed ...were it not for that mother's example ...were it not for my own maternal instinct, planted now in my heart.
There are those who would be poor substitutes for a parent if they could. They would harm the children they have sworn to protect, keeping them forever reliant on themselves ...for vanity that they mistake for pride ...for what selfish benefit could be gained from the post. They might cause opportunistic chaos to achieve their wicked ends.
Today when my feet touched the floor beside my bed and shifted to accommodate my weight as I stood -- I hope you felt it. I'm sure the Bringers did.
Loss of a parent -- The Compact lost a parent, recently. She abandoned it, throwing herself from the nest so as to shield it from danger with her own body. Though she has returned, we are forever made more independent from her by that act.
In another time after suffering a blow as the one I was struck with last night, I might not have found the strength of character to let my curtains be drawn open or to rise from my bed ...were it not for that mother's example ...were it not for my own maternal instinct, planted now in my heart.
There are those who would be poor substitutes for a parent if they could. They would harm the children they have sworn to protect, keeping them forever reliant on themselves ...for vanity that they mistake for pride ...for what selfish benefit could be gained from the post. They might cause opportunistic chaos to achieve their wicked ends.
Today when my feet touched the floor beside my bed and shifted to accommodate my weight as I stood -- I hope you felt it. I'm sure the Bringers did.
Written By Darren
Jan. 17, 2017, 10:05 a.m.(9/8/1005 AR)
It is far too easy to point fingers and cast blame.
Written By Iona
Jan. 17, 2017, 10:04 a.m.(9/8/1005 AR)
Being a mother is never over. Nor does it get any easier.
Sure, your children age, and they leave the house. There are no more broken windows to worry about. No more yelling during the early mornings, or well-intentioned breakfasts that turn the kitchen into a battlefield and send the servants into chaos because there is lunch and dinner preparations to be done. But instead, they offer you a different set of challenges.
My life in the past few weeks reads like one of those family-focused novellas where the most implausible combination of things tumbles forth with every turn of a page. Truly, I ought to be thankful none of my daughters have found themselves pregnant outside of wedlock and the scandal that involves, but it is hard to think of it in such a way. The celebration of another life is, even at its worst, so much more pleasant than realizing how close you've come to losing a daughter. Dawn, my dear... she is far too willing to sacrifice herself for others. To think I would ever think of such a trait as a flaw. Alas. I am a mother, and she is my daughter.
But enough about matters that have been concluded. She is a Regent no more, and better yet, she is still very much alive. What truly motivated me to find my journal today... is Sammie.
Yesterday, she gathered her courage to tell me something that has bothered her for many years. To my own disgrace as a parent, I found myself pointing out all her mistakes and voicing my anger and disappointment in her. My shock, and without doubt also my fear, were on full display. It is as if I had forgotten she is just another woman, filled with flaws and the capacity to make mistakes. Nothing like the stellar reputation she has built up as the so-called Conscience of the Peers.
The more I think of it, the worse the light I see myself in. After all, are the failings of a child not the result of inadequate parenting? The fact Sammie nearly lost her life is on me for not adequately reinforcing how loved she is, and how much she matters to far too many people to name.
As a parent, I am supposed to be there for my children. Yet I was not there when they needed me, and when it came to Samantha revealing a truth I did not know, I yell at her without regard to her feelings.
Yet again I look at my own reflection, and yet again I find myself endeavouring to be a better mother.
Addendum: My dear Dawn has been excommunicated from the Faith!! The ink is not even dry yet! Dear Gods, why?
Sure, your children age, and they leave the house. There are no more broken windows to worry about. No more yelling during the early mornings, or well-intentioned breakfasts that turn the kitchen into a battlefield and send the servants into chaos because there is lunch and dinner preparations to be done. But instead, they offer you a different set of challenges.
My life in the past few weeks reads like one of those family-focused novellas where the most implausible combination of things tumbles forth with every turn of a page. Truly, I ought to be thankful none of my daughters have found themselves pregnant outside of wedlock and the scandal that involves, but it is hard to think of it in such a way. The celebration of another life is, even at its worst, so much more pleasant than realizing how close you've come to losing a daughter. Dawn, my dear... she is far too willing to sacrifice herself for others. To think I would ever think of such a trait as a flaw. Alas. I am a mother, and she is my daughter.
But enough about matters that have been concluded. She is a Regent no more, and better yet, she is still very much alive. What truly motivated me to find my journal today... is Sammie.
Yesterday, she gathered her courage to tell me something that has bothered her for many years. To my own disgrace as a parent, I found myself pointing out all her mistakes and voicing my anger and disappointment in her. My shock, and without doubt also my fear, were on full display. It is as if I had forgotten she is just another woman, filled with flaws and the capacity to make mistakes. Nothing like the stellar reputation she has built up as the so-called Conscience of the Peers.
The more I think of it, the worse the light I see myself in. After all, are the failings of a child not the result of inadequate parenting? The fact Sammie nearly lost her life is on me for not adequately reinforcing how loved she is, and how much she matters to far too many people to name.
As a parent, I am supposed to be there for my children. Yet I was not there when they needed me, and when it came to Samantha revealing a truth I did not know, I yell at her without regard to her feelings.
Yet again I look at my own reflection, and yet again I find myself endeavouring to be a better mother.
Addendum: My dear Dawn has been excommunicated from the Faith!! The ink is not even dry yet! Dear Gods, why?
Written By Anze
Jan. 17, 2017, 9:31 a.m.(9/8/1005 AR)
The dominus made a hard choice.
spirits go with him, I think he needs them.
spirits go with him, I think he needs them.
Written By Lydia
Jan. 17, 2017, 8:55 a.m.(9/8/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Belladonna
I have finally met this love of my brothers, and I must report that it is not as I feared.
She seems a truly delightful woman of good humor and generosity. I look forward to the many, many hours that we are to spend together!
She seems a truly delightful woman of good humor and generosity. I look forward to the many, many hours that we are to spend together!
Written By Dawn
Jan. 17, 2017, 7:27 a.m.(9/8/1005 AR)
How quickly scruples change, when alaricite is on offer, or there's a chance to play games with elves once despised and feared.
It is in poor manners to say "I told you so" but I'll do it anyway. I told you. I warned you. You ignored me. And you wonder why I felt I had to do everything myself?
It is in poor manners to say "I told you so" but I'll do it anyway. I told you. I warned you. You ignored me. And you wonder why I felt I had to do everything myself?
Written By Angelo
Jan. 17, 2017, 6:52 a.m.(9/8/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Natalia
I have begun courting Her Royal Highness Natalia Grayson. I am looking forward to see what our alliance will mean.
Written By Talen
Jan. 17, 2017, 6:16 a.m.(9/8/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Esera
If I see one person not bend the knee, I'll break the knee so it's perpetually bent.
Written By Magden
Jan. 17, 2017, 4:22 a.m.(9/8/1005 AR)
When rats are forced to live in close proximity, sometimes their tails become entangled. The oils of their pelts, fur, dirt, the litter of their nests (twine, for example), and the flexible nature of the appendages in question contribute to a hopeless network of knots. They don't even have the leverage to turn and chew off their own tail. The only thing the increasingly desperate creatures can attack is their neighbor.
This violent and inextricable mass is called a Rat King.
Eventually, only one is left alive, and with the weight of all the corpses behind him, he is immobile.
He dies of starvation.
The End.
This violent and inextricable mass is called a Rat King.
Eventually, only one is left alive, and with the weight of all the corpses behind him, he is immobile.
He dies of starvation.
The End.
Written By Agnarr
Jan. 17, 2017, 2:55 a.m.(9/7/1005 AR)
Slightly tempting, now, to convert. Or not. Who knows.
Written By Hadrian
Jan. 17, 2017, 2:48 a.m.(9/7/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Inigo
Cousin
Written By Magden
Jan. 17, 2017, 2:46 a.m.(9/7/1005 AR)
I met a short man by the river who wanted my clothes. That would have ended badly.
Lavender isn't his color.
Lavender isn't his color.
Written By Ira
Jan. 17, 2017, 2:10 a.m.(9/7/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Bethany
A Beautiful Mind
Written By Magden
Jan. 17, 2017, 12:56 a.m.(9/7/1005 AR)
I met someone who believes he can build a bridge between the Odd and the Normal.
There goes the neighborhood.
There goes the neighborhood.
Written By Magden
Jan. 17, 2017, 12:40 a.m.(9/7/1005 AR)
Cat blood tastes precisely how one might expect.
Written By Magden
Jan. 17, 2017, 12:40 a.m.(9/7/1005 AR)
We don't choose what we are, or to whom we belong.
Written By Jackson
Jan. 16, 2017, 10:46 p.m.(9/7/1005 AR)
Relationship Note on Aleksei
Lucky bastard.
Written By Ainsley
Jan. 16, 2017, 7:14 p.m.(9/6/1005 AR)
Did anyone lose a golden apple? Seriously, whose is this?
Written By Magden
Jan. 16, 2017, 6 p.m.(9/6/1005 AR)
When Larissa passes through a garden, even the stamen stand at attention.
Please note that the scholars may take some time preparing your journal for others to read.