Written By Aislin
June 18, 2017, 11:16 a.m.(9/4/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Niamh
((The handwriting of this entry is far shakier than the usual sure penmanship.))
There's a hole in me.
I'm not someone who falls into relationships easily; in the past, by the time I've realized I could love someone in that way, they were always with some other person. Few have ever approached /me/ of their own violition; possibly because I know that when I'm in the city walls, I'm more stiff -- more serious -- than I ever am out in the field, with the whole world around me. Possibly because of the scar.
Whatever the reason, I'd gotten used to being alone in that sense. And then... then Niamh.
Niamh Greenmarch wasn't someone I would have thought of in that way, had you asked me before we got to know each other better. I met her first when we spoke about clearing the Blight of the Silence from Ashford lands. We met again to discuss folklore and adventure. And I came to enjoy our discussions. And I told her how much I missed exploring -- that the war was keeping me so much in the city walls.
And then one day she asked to see my treehouse, but told me she needed a bit of time alone in it first. When I climbed up later, I found she'd decorated it for an adventure like the ones Harlan and I used to have when we were young. These endearingly clumsy hand-painted backdrops of what were supposed to be the desert of Eurus to the east, some imaginary land of castles and wonder to represent Cardia to the south, the white expanse of the Everwinter to the north, and the mountains to the west. She'd put bedrolls and a lantern, and a hand-drawn map of nothing in particular out.
And she told me we were going to have an adventure, even if I had to stay in the city walls to do so. And asked me where we should go.
We sat there in our campsite and discussed what to do. Where to go, in our little treehouse-world. My griffin from my imaginary childhood adventures, Cloudstriker, was still there, but he couldn't carry two adults in armor on an adventure. So in the end we decided we'd go to the 'mountains' to find another griffin to tame, one to fly Niamh around on our imaginary adventures.
And at the end of that first adventure, she told me she'd like to court me.
I told her yes.
It wasn't always an easy path for us, being something of an adventure in itself. We didn't always agree on everything; no couple does. But she knew that my home would be a safe space -- that she could leave the cares of the world at the door, step inside, and just be Niamh. Nothing else. And I knew that whenever I got fretful or restless, she'd come up with some new puzzle, some new adventure within the walls, for me to solve.
I don't know -- I /can't/ know -- where that road would have led us in time. Whether we would have worked well, or whether it would have ended in pain despite our best intentions, as many relationships do. I want to believe that we could've walked my path in life together.
And now she's gone. There's a part of me, some formerly empty space that I hadn't entirely realized how securely she'd fit herself into, which feels empty now... raw and bleeding, as if something was torn away. As if my nerves are laid bare, exposed to the air, and every single thing I feel is magnified ten times.
I take some solace in the fact that if she looked at peace, her passing must have been a quiet one... that her end didn't come in pain, or terror. I can take solace in the fact that she's on a new adventure -- one into the Shining Lands themselves -- and no doubt one of wonder. But I cannot follow her... and I know she wouldn't want me to.
I know in time, the pain will fade -- as all grief does. And now that we know of the Wheel once again, perhaps we'll find each other again in our next lifetime, or the one after that. I don't believe our ties are cut forever.
And someday, when I'm out there in the wild, and I find a griffin hatchling in truth -- I'll think back and remember the first moment I truly knew someone else loved me, when we were chasing imaginary griffins in a treehouse.
Goodbye, my love... for now.
There's a hole in me.
I'm not someone who falls into relationships easily; in the past, by the time I've realized I could love someone in that way, they were always with some other person. Few have ever approached /me/ of their own violition; possibly because I know that when I'm in the city walls, I'm more stiff -- more serious -- than I ever am out in the field, with the whole world around me. Possibly because of the scar.
Whatever the reason, I'd gotten used to being alone in that sense. And then... then Niamh.
Niamh Greenmarch wasn't someone I would have thought of in that way, had you asked me before we got to know each other better. I met her first when we spoke about clearing the Blight of the Silence from Ashford lands. We met again to discuss folklore and adventure. And I came to enjoy our discussions. And I told her how much I missed exploring -- that the war was keeping me so much in the city walls.
And then one day she asked to see my treehouse, but told me she needed a bit of time alone in it first. When I climbed up later, I found she'd decorated it for an adventure like the ones Harlan and I used to have when we were young. These endearingly clumsy hand-painted backdrops of what were supposed to be the desert of Eurus to the east, some imaginary land of castles and wonder to represent Cardia to the south, the white expanse of the Everwinter to the north, and the mountains to the west. She'd put bedrolls and a lantern, and a hand-drawn map of nothing in particular out.
And she told me we were going to have an adventure, even if I had to stay in the city walls to do so. And asked me where we should go.
We sat there in our campsite and discussed what to do. Where to go, in our little treehouse-world. My griffin from my imaginary childhood adventures, Cloudstriker, was still there, but he couldn't carry two adults in armor on an adventure. So in the end we decided we'd go to the 'mountains' to find another griffin to tame, one to fly Niamh around on our imaginary adventures.
And at the end of that first adventure, she told me she'd like to court me.
I told her yes.
It wasn't always an easy path for us, being something of an adventure in itself. We didn't always agree on everything; no couple does. But she knew that my home would be a safe space -- that she could leave the cares of the world at the door, step inside, and just be Niamh. Nothing else. And I knew that whenever I got fretful or restless, she'd come up with some new puzzle, some new adventure within the walls, for me to solve.
I don't know -- I /can't/ know -- where that road would have led us in time. Whether we would have worked well, or whether it would have ended in pain despite our best intentions, as many relationships do. I want to believe that we could've walked my path in life together.
And now she's gone. There's a part of me, some formerly empty space that I hadn't entirely realized how securely she'd fit herself into, which feels empty now... raw and bleeding, as if something was torn away. As if my nerves are laid bare, exposed to the air, and every single thing I feel is magnified ten times.
I take some solace in the fact that if she looked at peace, her passing must have been a quiet one... that her end didn't come in pain, or terror. I can take solace in the fact that she's on a new adventure -- one into the Shining Lands themselves -- and no doubt one of wonder. But I cannot follow her... and I know she wouldn't want me to.
I know in time, the pain will fade -- as all grief does. And now that we know of the Wheel once again, perhaps we'll find each other again in our next lifetime, or the one after that. I don't believe our ties are cut forever.
And someday, when I'm out there in the wild, and I find a griffin hatchling in truth -- I'll think back and remember the first moment I truly knew someone else loved me, when we were chasing imaginary griffins in a treehouse.
Goodbye, my love... for now.
Written By Sparte
June 18, 2017, 10:19 a.m.(9/4/1006 AR)
Preparations for the Iron Arrow Barbeque continue. The idea of using skewers for arrows has been getting mixed response, as though people think I'm going to let them shoot at one another. The bows will have all the draw of a child's first bow, anyone stuck with a skewer will be annoyed - not maimed. Even so we'll have an excellent archer on hand to watch people and prevent the worst of mishandling.
Separately, the ingredients list is looking interesting. I certainly hope the Swords cooking without a champion are up to the challenge.
Separately, the ingredients list is looking interesting. I certainly hope the Swords cooking without a champion are up to the challenge.
Written By Cristoph
June 18, 2017, 9:21 a.m.(9/4/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Alis
I have been gifted the most fantastic tiara by Princess Alis. If anyone wants to see it, I will be wearing it.
Also I'm happy to host private discussions with anyone who disagrees with the content of my white journals. My door is always open.
Also I'm happy to host private discussions with anyone who disagrees with the content of my white journals. My door is always open.
Written By Mirari
June 18, 2017, 6:43 a.m.(9/4/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Joscelin
My favorite Guildmistress.
Written By Mirari
June 18, 2017, 6:43 a.m.(9/4/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Hana
Mistress Grayhope is an amazing weaponsmith, and a patient teacher.
Written By Caelis
June 18, 2017, 3:08 a.m.(9/4/1006 AR)
The Archery contest was wonderful fun to watch. I deeply enjoyed getting to shoot my bow after the Menagerie event the night before. I think there is no better after party than spending time in the training center. More and more I find the to do list is out growing my done list. I should double down and attend less parties, as useful as they are for socializing and networking. I suppose I have friends enough for now. Better to focus where my time is valued.
May your hopes find safe harbors.
May your hopes find safe harbors.
Written By Mirari
June 18, 2017, 2:06 a.m.(9/4/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Hana
I've begun my work with rubicund, though I still need some pointers from Hana as I work. Mistress Grayhope is an amazing teacher. If she can has time to teach you, I'd highly recommend doing so.
Written By Saedrus
June 18, 2017, 1:55 a.m.(9/3/1006 AR)
I believe the Salon was a success.
I do hope that those attended found it enlightening, or at least left with some thought of the message therein. Aleksei spoke so well, in his own charming sort of manner, and I am glad it all came together. I am proud to be a Liberator of Skald and to be a Whisper. I did not expect that Aleksei asked the Whisper house to host the event, though when he told me it could not be 'fancy' or anything 'formal' I did struggle a little.
All in all, I was very happy with it, and too, that knowledge of the First Choice continues to grow in understanding within the city of Arx.
I do hope that those attended found it enlightening, or at least left with some thought of the message therein. Aleksei spoke so well, in his own charming sort of manner, and I am glad it all came together. I am proud to be a Liberator of Skald and to be a Whisper. I did not expect that Aleksei asked the Whisper house to host the event, though when he told me it could not be 'fancy' or anything 'formal' I did struggle a little.
All in all, I was very happy with it, and too, that knowledge of the First Choice continues to grow in understanding within the city of Arx.
Written By Rymarr
June 18, 2017, 1:29 a.m.(9/3/1006 AR)
Went to the salon hosted by the Archlector of Skald and learned of that newly rediscovered addition to the Pantheon. I learned a great many new things and Archlector Aleksei Morgan was extremely patient while he fielded the questions that I had in the form of hypothetical stories. While I've historically saw him as little more than a walking punch-line with moments of sincerity or adherence to duty, today I saw him as something else entirely. Responsible, dutiful... a fully capable adult? I imagine he laced his own boots. My pride soars.
Altogether it was a wonderful opportunity to learn and has inspired me to reach out to a number of the various Archlectors and their disciples in order to make inquiries about these new additions to the Pantheon. I hope they're as patient and willing to humor my questions. I have many questions.
Altogether it was a wonderful opportunity to learn and has inspired me to reach out to a number of the various Archlectors and their disciples in order to make inquiries about these new additions to the Pantheon. I hope they're as patient and willing to humor my questions. I have many questions.
Written By Fatima
June 18, 2017, 1:12 a.m.(9/3/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Carita
I am unashamed to admit that Carita tells the best bedtime stories.
Perhaps soon, someday, she will tuck me in and tell me another tale.
Something a little less light-hearted perhaps? I wonder if she knows
any Eurusi fables or myths. Carita if you read this, you know where
to find me love.
Perhaps soon, someday, she will tuck me in and tell me another tale.
Something a little less light-hearted perhaps? I wonder if she knows
any Eurusi fables or myths. Carita if you read this, you know where
to find me love.
Written By Carita
June 18, 2017, 12:33 a.m.(9/3/1006 AR)
Another cradle story. This one is much shorter. Hugs and kisses, Arvum.
In days gone by, there was a land where the nights were always dark, and the sky spread over it like a black cloth. In that land, the moon never rose, and no star shone in the gloom.
In this land, three young brothers once went out on a traveling expedition, and arrived in another kingdom across the continent. A place where, in the evening when the sun had disappeared behind the mountains, a shining globe was placed on an old oak tree, which shed a soft light far and wide. It was not so brilliant as the sun, but that light that this orb offered was still light enough.
These travelers stopped, and the clever one that knew all languages asked a merchant what kind of strange light thus was. "The moon," answered the merchant as he paused with his cart, "that is the moon. Our king bought it for three gold coins and fastened it to the oak. He needs to polish it daily so that it might always shine clearly. In turn, we all pay our taxes in order to keep our moon."
When the three brothers then went to the old oak tree, the clever brother and the strong brother both noticed that the moon was indeed bound in place by all manner of golden ropes. The youngest brother, of heart, did not see a globe of softly glowing light - but a woman that was bound in place against the trunk, hooded and still.
The three brothers fought, as two wished to steal the moon away in order to bring light to their own kingdom. And the third brother wished to set the moon free. They fought and they fought and they fought as the moon's light dimmed as she grew ill from being poorly tended to. When the light of the moon decreased, the young fellows stopped and they all agreed as one to cut down the moon and convey her safely to their lands.
As they did, oh, the shadows grew taller and the dark became darker. The world became black as pitch and restless, as the three brothers started to make the journey home. So, it came to pass that the theft of the moon made all things - living and unliving - displeased. No one slept.
Until the three brothers returned to their land of everlasting darkness, and they considered an old oak on the top of the hill where their keep stood. The clever brother had woven a rope of gold. The strong brother was going to tie the knots to bind the moon to the tree. The brother of heart stopped and bid his brothers to stillness, as he reminded them of what he saw. They had rescued the moon. She deserved to be free. So, he removed the hood that hid her eyes and long silvery hair and he told her: "You are free."
The moon stepped up, into the sky, and she took her place back among the clouds and stars.
From that time to this, the moon has never shone brighter anywhere else.
In days gone by, there was a land where the nights were always dark, and the sky spread over it like a black cloth. In that land, the moon never rose, and no star shone in the gloom.
In this land, three young brothers once went out on a traveling expedition, and arrived in another kingdom across the continent. A place where, in the evening when the sun had disappeared behind the mountains, a shining globe was placed on an old oak tree, which shed a soft light far and wide. It was not so brilliant as the sun, but that light that this orb offered was still light enough.
These travelers stopped, and the clever one that knew all languages asked a merchant what kind of strange light thus was. "The moon," answered the merchant as he paused with his cart, "that is the moon. Our king bought it for three gold coins and fastened it to the oak. He needs to polish it daily so that it might always shine clearly. In turn, we all pay our taxes in order to keep our moon."
When the three brothers then went to the old oak tree, the clever brother and the strong brother both noticed that the moon was indeed bound in place by all manner of golden ropes. The youngest brother, of heart, did not see a globe of softly glowing light - but a woman that was bound in place against the trunk, hooded and still.
The three brothers fought, as two wished to steal the moon away in order to bring light to their own kingdom. And the third brother wished to set the moon free. They fought and they fought and they fought as the moon's light dimmed as she grew ill from being poorly tended to. When the light of the moon decreased, the young fellows stopped and they all agreed as one to cut down the moon and convey her safely to their lands.
As they did, oh, the shadows grew taller and the dark became darker. The world became black as pitch and restless, as the three brothers started to make the journey home. So, it came to pass that the theft of the moon made all things - living and unliving - displeased. No one slept.
Until the three brothers returned to their land of everlasting darkness, and they considered an old oak on the top of the hill where their keep stood. The clever brother had woven a rope of gold. The strong brother was going to tie the knots to bind the moon to the tree. The brother of heart stopped and bid his brothers to stillness, as he reminded them of what he saw. They had rescued the moon. She deserved to be free. So, he removed the hood that hid her eyes and long silvery hair and he told her: "You are free."
The moon stepped up, into the sky, and she took her place back among the clouds and stars.
From that time to this, the moon has never shone brighter anywhere else.
Written By Armel
June 17, 2017, 11:51 p.m.(9/3/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Merek
As much as vellichor may or may not judge journals, it is not the place of any scholar to pass judgment over what is worth recording in the white. Let people see a slice of our lives in every aspect.
Written By Regla
June 17, 2017, 11:50 p.m.(9/3/1006 AR)
I should have given my brother more warning than I did, but like I told him, I needed to get away from home before the fighting with my sister got worse. But I wasn't entirely truthful about the details of what happened either, and I wonder if I should have. I know that he'd have just accepted it, and wouldn't have made me head back home.
But....
A tiny part of me thinks he'd have been potentially mad about it. She did run into my elbow, and I didn't mean to push her down the stairs. But there was more to it than that.
The reason for the fight might be more irritating to him than the actual fight itself. I'll think about it, maybe I'll tell him the whole story one day.
But....
A tiny part of me thinks he'd have been potentially mad about it. She did run into my elbow, and I didn't mean to push her down the stairs. But there was more to it than that.
The reason for the fight might be more irritating to him than the actual fight itself. I'll think about it, maybe I'll tell him the whole story one day.
Written By Alis
June 17, 2017, 11:38 p.m.(9/3/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Cristoph
You deserve your own tiara, of course. I am certain I can have a suitable one made. Just for you.
Written By Anze
June 17, 2017, 11:36 p.m.(9/3/1006 AR)
Archery has never been my forte, but watching an archery tournament is interesting. The talent to hit a target at such a range.. I absolutely need to have Fiachra take me hunting some time, we'd absolutely get a great prize.
Written By Cristoph
June 17, 2017, 11:32 p.m.(9/3/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Alis
She won't let me borrow her tiara. But she's assisting me in other ways, so this is forgiven.
Written By Alis
June 17, 2017, 11:24 p.m.(9/3/1006 AR)
I'm not quite sure what it is about a good archery tournament. Perhaps all the dexterity on display. But it certainly provides enough inspiration later that it matters not whether one comes first or second.
Written By Esoka
June 17, 2017, 10:59 p.m.(9/3/1006 AR)
I was raised to revere all of the Pantheon, and I have tried to take the lost gods (now found) into my heart with the zeal They deserve. There are some virtues I am easier with than others. Courage, justice, fidelity. And others I struggle with, like Jayus' creative grace and Lagoma's drive for change. I sense Skald will be one that's not easy for me. I'd like to think my life shaped by duty and kin, but the path I've picked has been entirely of my own choosing. That is not always easy to admit. There is something both heartening, and a little terrifying, to accept that we keep our oaths and promises only by our own resolve each day.
Written By Mikani
June 17, 2017, 10:33 p.m.(9/3/1006 AR)
Relationship Note on Ember
Ember's okay, a tad on the angry side of life but she's okay. She's a good captain and not a bad fighter. She's stubborn as can be though. I've seen her through the best and worst of life. Both in pretty dresses and drenched in blood. Her blood, my blood, enemy blood... She's frequently wearing some amount of blood.
Written By Lydia
June 17, 2017, 10:15 p.m.(9/3/1006 AR)
To-Do List:
* Seek suitors. Dragons or Griffins. Perhaps a Bear. Will need to consider. Will also consider new and unexpected surprises. (I mean, who doesn't love a nice surprise?)
* Seek proteges. Perhaps to add to the household staff.
* Write more letters. There are old connections that I need to renew and new connections to kindle.
* More gossip.
* New slippers.
* New gown to match new slippers. (I saw this most amazing pale, wintry rose blue silk that I need-need-need.)
* Consider charitable projects for the groups and organizations that I am involved with.
* Seek suitors. Dragons or Griffins. Perhaps a Bear. Will need to consider. Will also consider new and unexpected surprises. (I mean, who doesn't love a nice surprise?)
* Seek proteges. Perhaps to add to the household staff.
* Write more letters. There are old connections that I need to renew and new connections to kindle.
* More gossip.
* New slippers.
* New gown to match new slippers. (I saw this most amazing pale, wintry rose blue silk that I need-need-need.)
* Consider charitable projects for the groups and organizations that I am involved with.
Please note that the scholars may take some time preparing your journal for others to read.